I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
