The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
