She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
