That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
