if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
