i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
