Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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