Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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