Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
