wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sorry about my life...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
