new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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