I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
