stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
