): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize