like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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