i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize