I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
