HIV tests are more positive than that guy
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize