I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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