You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
