Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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