You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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