I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
