Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
