New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
