THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
