I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
