Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
