I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
