we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
