I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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