Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
