this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
there is glitter all over my balls
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize