I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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