Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
