Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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