so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
