No stitches, just platelets and will power
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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