I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
