My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
PANTIES FOUND
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