i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
