Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
only if we run a train.
done.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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