Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
