I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize