last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
