brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize