She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize