Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
