The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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