What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
