i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
