Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
