Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
