My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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