May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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