Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
