I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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