I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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