i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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