yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
