idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
