Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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