Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
