i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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