I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
