Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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