Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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