someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
